Alien: Covenant – Huge Disappointment

eitzqasg9bpzxhxlfjtqHere’s a sentence that I wasn’t expecting. Alien: Covenant is bad.

Now the entire movie isn’t bad mind you. Nope. The first forty-five minutes are a worthwhile adventure. Then it turns into a giant alien turd sandwich.

For those unaware, Alien: Covent is a sequent to Ridley Scott’s 2012 film, Prometheus, and it follows the adventure of another space ship traveling into space.

I get tired of horror/sci-fi with incredibly stupid people in them. Basically, when I watch these movies all I have to think of is,”What’s the dumbest thing to do right now?” Boom – it happens.

We just got back into space after a horror filled adventure. Possible flesh-eating alien onboard. Yep – let us take off our clothes and have sex. I’m sorry but if I’m on a planet and I see a bunch of my friends get brutally killed – I’m going to need years of Dr. Phil therapy before I’m even thinking about having sex again.

Also, why was it necessary to even tell the story of the Alien creation? Yes, it’s a damn alien. It comes from ‘OUTERSPACE’. All we need to know is this. Every time we see the aliens they try to either kill us or use our bodies for mating pods. In each event, we end up dead. So no point in developing a backstory.

Highlight of the movie: Michael Fassbender as Walter/David.

Lowlight of the movie: Michael Fassbender playing a sociopath robot in David. Did your creator sexually molest you as a kid? Why are you so beyond fucked up? I know this will probably be the next series of movies to come out in fifteen years. It’ll probably be called ‘David: Robot Gone Bad’

Do yourself a favor. Save your money.

My biggest annoyance with the movie.


Prometheus is about us understanding our beginnings and we meet these engineers. We, at the end of that movie, are left with a bunch of questions. Boom! Sequel. David gets his black slime and kills all the engineers before we understand or know anything of them.

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